I never really expected the Danes to be a force in horror filmmaking. Oh, sure, they’ve had some really good runs and the whole Ghost House Underground series has been especially good to them. They had two of the three best films in the whole lot. But it’s definitely a surprise to see them bring in terror hottie Maja Mae in a really twisted plot.
Check this out: it’s actually based somewhat on history, as Danish fishermen ran fleets of Jewish settlers from occupied Denmark to neutral Sweden. But the Nazis had a plan of their own, slipping in several of their OWN boats to ferry the Jews not to safety in Sweden, but to a distant death camp in the remotest parts of Sweden. Emma Landau, one of the survivors of one such ploy, discovered that her family went on one of the FAKE boats and ended up in a Swedish death camp. From there, she takes her friends with her and goes in pursuit of what happened, only to find something more horrible than she imagined.
In case you thought that terror hottie Eliza Dushku was pretty much sidelined because of her work on TV’s Dollhouse, well, you can think again. The magnificently terror hottie actress will be back in play in the upcoming release Locked In.
A trailer has been released already, and frankly, it’s looking pretty sweet. Featuring a guy who leaves his advertising career at its peak, and subsequently loses his daughter to a car accident that leaves her in a coma, it’s not surprising that, after everyone gives up on them, he starts hearing her communicating with him. But is she really trying to reach him? Or has the loss and change just driven him over the edge?
Okay, so it’s not exactly much of a surprise that Jennifer’s Body, featuring a confused bunch of terror hotties like Megan Fox, Amanda Seyfried and director Karyn Kusama, who were pretty much exclusively confused because of their leader, terror hottie Diablo Cody, did NOT do what you’d call super well at the box office.
So it’s not really much MORE of a surprise to find out that they’re going to try their luck at the video store a little ahead of schedule. Like REALLY ahead of schedule.
Okay guys, strap in and brace yourselves, because terror hottie Connie Britton, who’s set up to play Nancy’s mom in the upcoming Nightmare On Elm Street remake has never actually seen the original.
I’m downright horrified. How do you put someone in a role like that who’s never even SEEN the original? How will they even know what they’re supposed to be doing? And don’t tell me they’ll follow the script, either–we all know from painful experience that half these scripts are dreck.
Hillary Swank, ladies and gentlemen, is on her way to being a full-on terror hottie! Unless she was one already, but frankly, I’m having a tough time pinning down when she actually was one. Anyway, she’ll be involved in The Resident, a movie that’s already being described as “in the tradition of The Exorcism of Emily Rose”.
I loved The Exorcism of Emily Rose, not least of all because Jennifer Carpenter is a hot, freaky genius of a woman who could be doing so much more yet somehow ISN’T.
More awesome news out of AFM today as we hear about The Possession of David O’Reilly, which sounds by virtually all accounts to be little more than the British version of Paranormal Activity. This is, frankly, pretty cool all by itself as Paranormal Activity was all kinds of awesome, so anything that comes out in that vein for a while is going to be pretty entertaining.
Anyway, this time we’ve got terror hotties Francesca Fowler and Zoe Richards working together to bring us a movie allegedly based on actual events in which a young couple’s home in London finds itself attacked by paranormal whatnot. Like I said, sounds like precious little more than Paranormal Activity.
The American Film Market, folks–one of the greatest resources of filmmaking known to mankind. This is where many future theatrical releases find their distributors, and one of the first out of the box is Shadows, which features terror hotties Ploy Jindachote and Paula Taylor, and Saw lead Cary Elwes.
This one, set in Bangkok, revolves around a car accident that claims the lives of a man’s wife and only son. When the man in question wakes up to find he’s the only survivor, he’s naturally horrified to find that he has absolutely no grief over the loss. And worse, he’s starting to see ghosts. He confides in the only person who even vaguely seems sympathetic to his loss, his nurse, Choi. And when you find out why our boy has no feelings of grief or loss for his family, well, you’ll be pretty surprised, actually. I sure was when I read about it, but I’m not going to spoiler for you.
Excuse me for being slightly terrified by a horror movie described as “an edgy teen romance” and coming to us from CBS Films, but I’m just downright unnerved by the fact that I’m going to have to call not only Mary-Kate Olsen but also Vanessa Hudgens terror hotties now because of it.
There are times when I wish our policy on terror hotties was not quite so liberal. Sure, we’ll take pretty much any woman who’s involved in horror, be she writer, director or actor, and considering we’ve taken June Lockhart and Zelda Rubenstein into our ranks you know we’re willing to go where most won’t.
Assuming the very idea of me referring to Kristen Stewart as a terror hottie doesn’t cause me to burst into flames, you should know that she, along with the rest of the cast of the second-rate vampire epic New Moon, will be hitting various malls as part of a promotional tour starting early November.
They’ll cruise around the country, seeing and being seen, offering activities, prize giveaways, and a question and answer segment in which approximately fourteen hojillion tweenage girls will ask if Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart are really getting married.
Well, that’s an interesting development–seems that the folks working on Scream 4 are planning to go 3-D.
As we know, most everyone’s back on board for Scream 4, including Neve Campbell (who for the longest time had been vacillating like a congressman before she finally decided to throw in), Anna Lynn McCord and Courtney Cox. Interestingly, this film is actually slated to take place fully ten years after Scream 3 ended, possibly launching its own new trilogy. Deputy Dewey got himself bumped up a pay grade when he married Gale Weathers, and is now Sheriff Dewey, with his own small child in tow.
We’ve talked about 25/8, the upcoming title from Wes “Nerve Gas” Craven, more than a few times before. Mostly, we talk about this one because despite its less than stellar pedigree, it’s got a whole slew of terror hotties involved in its construction, including Zena Grey, Nicole Patrick, Emily Meade and plenty of others.
Well, some fresh news has emerged about the title, including most notably of all that the title has changed.
Guess the folks out at the production of Mother’s Day, featuring terror hottie Jaime King. Bousman’s production got a bit too rambunctious, and a Winnipeg local noticed one of the scenes filming in front of him featuring a blood-coated actor brandishing a gun.
Naturally, said local then called the local constabulary, who rushed to the scene and quickly ascertained that this was in fact a movie shoot. A good laugh was reportedly had by all and no one was hurt, arrested, or shot with a taser.
Well, here’s some interesting news–the folks out at Grinder, including terror hottie Nikki Griffin, have announced that they’ve been acquired by Seven Arts Pictures.
No one’s exactly sure just where Grinder IS in its pre-production stages. It may well be in mid-production by now, or even slouching toward post by now. But one thing’s clear–Seven Arts’ involvement in the production assures that it is, in fact, going forward again.
Featuring terror hottie Emma Lung, Crave is a movie that might manage to do some damage at the video stores if anyone can get behind it.
And what Crave will bring us to get behind is the story of a photographer whose life has not been going real well lately. And things only get worse when he starts having hallucinations following getting dumped by his girlfriend and a detective is on his tail round the clock.
Now I’m just astonished, folks. I’ve seen a whole lot of bizarre and horrendous things in my time, but this may well be one of the plain old weirdest. Kristen Stewart shows up in this ad briefly, and when you see it, you probably still won’t believe it.
It’s currently on YouTube if you want to take a look at it, because it might be one of the most ludicrous advertisements you’ve seen in a good long while. It’s for Sobe Vitamin Water, and it features footage from New Moon.
The punchline is, of course, that I’m totally serious. This actually exists and they’re really hawking Vitamin Water with bits of Twilight.