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Posts filed under 'Kristen Stewart'

Akira May Be Facing Its Last Breath

With Kristen Stewart and Helena Bonham Carter possibly slated to join the Akira remake cast, it’s a horrible chunk of news indeed to hear that, right now, the production may well be dead in the water.

The original series followed a Japanese biker gang who finds one of its members experimented on, and in turn, receiving psychic powers. But those powers may well lead to the destruction of the entire planet, as they find out much to their horror when the experimented member turns against his hometown.

But considering that the movie itself had at least two rewrites, and has recently sent the crew packing, this may well be the end for the production. However, this isn’t the first time the production has seemed doomed, and there’s just something about it that’s keeping the folks at Warner Brothers coming back for more.

Keep it right here for all the latest on this one, because there’s sure to be more soon!

Kristen Stewart May Join Akira Cast

Well well, another chunk of interesting news comes our way about Akira; while not too long ago, we got word of Helena Bonham Carter’s possible interest in signing on, now we hear there’s another terror hottie looking to join up, none other than Kristen Stewart.

While most readily known for playing talking lump Bella in the Twilight series, K-Stew, as some like to call her, has also picked up quite a following with a variety of other movies like Adventureland and The Runaways. And now, she might have the opportunity to pick up the role of Kai, a young psychic who finds herself in love with Kaneda.

In case you’re not already familiar with the plot–at least of the original–it follows a Japanese biker gang, one of whom, feeling woefully unappreciated, becomes the subject of some medical testing that gives him psychic powers briefly before turning him into a massive gelatinous monster that nearly blows up Japan. It was weird, but still interesting enough, and a live action version should be plenty of fun.

No word yet on when they start shooting this one, so keep it here for all the latest on this one.

Twilight Cast, Including Kristen Stewart, On Tour


(Kristen Stewart)

Assuming the very idea of me referring to Kristen Stewart as a terror hottie doesn’t cause me to burst into flames, you should know that she, along with the rest of the cast of the second-rate vampire epic New Moon, will be hitting various malls as part of a promotional tour starting early November.

They’ll cruise around the country, seeing and being seen, offering activities, prize giveaways, and a question and answer segment in which approximately fourteen hojillion tweenage girls will ask if Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart are really getting married.

It’s not much surprise that Hot Topic is involved in the running of this particular game, but it IS a bit more of a surprise that Nordstrom is involved.  I really didn’t see Nordstrom getting in on the vampire game, not like Hot Topic.

New Moon Footage Used to Hawk Vitamin Water

Now I’m just astonished, folks.  I’ve seen a whole lot of bizarre and horrendous things in my time, but this may well be one of the plain old weirdest.  Kristen Stewart shows up in this ad briefly, and when you see it, you probably still won’t believe it.

It’s currently on YouTube if you want to take a look at it, because it might be one of the most ludicrous advertisements you’ve seen in a good long while.  It’s for Sobe Vitamin Water, and it features footage from New Moon.

The punchline is, of course, that I’m totally serious.  This actually exists and they’re really hawking Vitamin Water with bits of Twilight.

I guess it’s a smart idea, from a marketing standpoint, because there’s a whole bunch of tweens out there who’d happily plunk down some babysitting cash on overpriced sugar water for the sake of drinking the same thing they fantasize about Bella and Edward drinking while they cuddle on the beach and Edward sparkles relentlessly or something.  But they don’t even have the good grace to show the characters actually DRINK this stuff, and that’s what makes it even worse.  If you’re going to hawk stuff with characters, at least have the good grace to show the characters actually USING the product in question.

New Moon Carries On, Whether We Like it Or Not

(Kristen Stewart)

The New Moon stories, featuring terror hottie Kristen Stewart, continue to roll out, including a whole slew of new footage that’s sure to leave most diehard horror fans completely repulsed by the fact that this thing even exists.

You know, the more I hear about New Moon the more I wonder just how long it’s going to be until White Wolf Publishing starts suing somebody.  I mean, come on—vampires versus werewolves?  That was the whole plot of their game Rage.  But I guess if they didn’t get all litigious about Underworld, which was pretty much the same thing, they likely won’t go after the fat sack of cash that is New Moon.

This makes me rather sad, really, because I’d love to see this wreck derailed before it can even get out of the gate.  And I’m sure many of you would too.

Well, At Least It’s Got Kristen Stewart


(Kristen Stewart)

Okay, folks—there’s no getting around it.  We’re gonna be neck deep (no pun intended) in Twilight movies for the next several years to come.  And though they destroy the vampire mythos almost completely, and though they read like a truly craptacular romance novel and though they pretty much only draw in tweenage girls with nothing better to do than moon over Robert Pattinson, there’s still an upshot: namely, Kristen Stewart.

And the new one-sheet has been released for the next installment of the Twilight saga, New Moon.  Just in case you were wondering about the plot, author Stephenie Meyer will be both stealing and wrecking the vampire canon even further by introducing werewolves into New Moon (wow…isn’t that pretty much EVERYTHING that White Wolf Publishing EVER DID?), and forcing Mary Sue extraordinaire Bella to face strained loyalties as her sparkly vampire runs away for a while, so that Bella can make time with the werewolves and they can probably get into a fight over her or something, I neither know nor care.

Does anyone else find they neither know nor care?

Kristen Stewart as Joan Jett? That’s Crazy!


(Kristen Stewart)

Now here’s a bit of news that’ll likely blow your mind through the back of your head–check THIS out.  Seems that Kristen Stewart, recently of Twilight fame, has a little side project in the works–playing as legendary rock babe Joan Jett in the upcoming title The Runaways.  She’ll apparently be alongside Dakota Fanning, whose shaky career I recently discussed.

I’m pretty convinced that, despite the terror hottie presence, there’s going to be almost NO reason to sit through The Runaways.  Considering that Joan Jett herself is an executive producer, I have to wonder why she actually went through with putting these two second-rate hacks on the payroll.  Maybe she just had no choice–I like to think she just had no choice.  Mostly I like to think that because it actually lets me sleep at night, as opposed to the to the alternatives.  The alternatives just make me feel all cold and clammy inside.  Like death.  Which is about what The Runaway will end up like, except it’ll be a death that’ll take about ninety minutes.