Lauren Delong provides the terror hottie mojo on a strange little title coming our way in December called 99 Pieces. 99 Pieces seems to be some kind of Saw knockoff, featuring a man who wakes up with his wife missing one day and a horrible choice to make—leave her to die, or lock himself in his house and subject himself to forty days and nights of torture to get her back.
This sounds preposterous beyond all measure, and frankly, like yet another shoddy attempt to stage another torture porn fest for the steadily dwindling audience that likes this sort of garbage. Of course, that’s just what it sounds like at this point, so there’s every possibility that this will manage to pull itself around and be something more clever than initial reports suggest.
And gigantic winged monkeys might fly out of my…well…you get the idea on that one. Needless to say I don’t hold out a whole lot of hope for this to somehow magically turn into some kind of brilliant, unique film, but rather that our December will be filled with revolting torture porn.