Subscribe to RSS feed

Posts filed under 'Jamie Bamber'

Pulse 3: Invasion—That’s The Joke. There IS A Third One.

I’m truly amazed that, given the poor showing Pulse had, and the even poorer showing that Pulse 2 had, that someone actually greenlighted Pulse 3. Well, someone did, and it’ll be hitting our video store shelves late December.

Subtitled Pulse 3: Invasion, and featuring some pretty solid terror hottie action in the forms of Jamie Bamber, Georgina Rylance and Laura Cayouette, among others, this one continues on in the vein of ghosts that ride electrical signals have taken over the cities, and, seven years after the original Pulse, human beings are living like cave people in refugee camps in assorted dead zones of the United States because, after all, anybody who picks up a cell phone is just begging to get turned into chopped hash by vengeful spirits who like to ride carrier waves.  Justine, a teenager whose parents both got taken out by phantoms in the first one, leaves her adoptive family to make a living for herself and her first target is one of the nearby cities.

This is of course just begging for trouble, but that’s horror movies for you.

What really amazes me is that anyone thought this might make a good movie.  Sure, I liked the first Pulse well enough—it wasn’t anything great but at least it wasn’t as bad as some of the crap I have to wade through in a typical week (don’t believe me?  Go watch anything by Ulli Lommel and see what you think about Pulse then.) so I was willing to give it a little benefit of the doubt.

But seriously—how many times can they have the cave people from the refugee camp go stumbling back into the land of wireless internet and demons to get chased and eventually hacked apart for ninety minutes?

Dimension Extreme Doing Horrible Things For Terror Hotties

And so Dimension Extreme decides to go for the least original studio in Hollywood award by reviving the Pulse… franchise?  This shouldn’t be a franchise! This was a one-shot film done in as a remake from an Asian horror title and I don’t know why they’re looking to expand it.  Oh, wait, I know absolutely why they’re looking to expand it—it’s  all in the search for more money.

Despite the fact that at the end of the last Pulse, everything was already taking care of because humans had moved to radiological dead zones in which electronic transmissions wouldn’t function, we find it necessary to go back into the city to look for a young girl who goes missing.  Although at the end of the last Pulse, humanity was living in a series of armed camps surrounded by barbed wire administered by the US military, so how exactly the young girl went missing in the first place is utterly beyond me.

This has to be one of the single flimsiest excuses I’ve ever seen to launch a new movie.  And though it comes out at the end of September, I actually find myself looking forward to seeing it if not for the vast array of terror hotties in the making (included in the list are Laura Cayouette, Courtney Shay Young, Georgina Rylance, and Brittany Renee Finamore among others), then for the sheer joy of watching them tap dance around the illogical in a desperate attempt to make a coherent narrative.