There are some horror movie concepts that strike me as puzzling beyond all reckoning, and this is one of them. Currently in production on a slated release date of sometime in 2009 is the thoroughly preposterous Cuddle Party Massacre, featuring terror hottie Sarah Grant.
No, you read that right. It’s called CUDDLE. PARTY. MASSACRE. It involves a cuddle party with an uninvited guest who will, of course, run amok and start up a titular massacre in the midst of the equally titular cuddle party.
For those of you not familiar with the concept of a cuddle party, here’s the definition straight from the—I kid you not—official cuddle party website:
Cuddle Party is a playful social event designed for adults to explore communication, boundaries and affection. The brainchild of two relationship coaches, Cuddle Party was conceived in Feburary 2004. Since then, Reid Mihalko and Marcia Baczynski have sought to bring clean, safe, welcomed affection to the world through these events.
Of course, this is the perfect environment to stage a horror flick, followed closely by the circus and of course a kindergarten classroom. I mean, honestly, can we get any more ludicrous? There’s a limit, folks…and I think we just managed to cross it.