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Posts filed under 'Tara Reid'

Tara Reid Sticking to Horror

I know, we haven’t heard a whole lot of anything lately but weird gossip about everyone’s most sublimely screwed up diva, but it seems like she may be finding her stride in horror thanks to one of several upcoming releases involving her, Land of Canaan.

In Land of Canaan, she stars alongside fellow terror hotties Juliet Landau and Julianne Michelle in a psychological thriller style horror movie, based on a true story of murder and ghosts in Goldfield, Nevada.

I’m always a little leery of anyone who starts saying “based on a true story” because you never know just HOW based it actually is.  It’s possible to add spice to a good story by giving it a note of plausibility, but it’s also used to cover up a BAD story by attempting to add that note of plausibility.  Well, we’ll get to find out how it comes out in a few months—it’ll be released December of 2009 in the United States, afterward elsewhere.

Tara Reid Gets Snaky with Vipers

 

Tara Reid’s career, if not already mortally wounded by her appearance in Uwe Boll’s Alone in the Dark, is definitely taking a fresh hit by her appearance in upcoming Maneater Series release Vipers.

Now, you’ve got to be pretty desperate to rip off the direct to video snake movies that were so popular following the release of Anaconda, so it’s not a surprise that Maneater is me, too!-ing its way into that market by bringing out yet another giant snake and hoping that with Tara Reid at the forefront, people won’t notice how huge a ripoff this all is.  Check out the laughable box copy, courtesy of the boys at horror-movies.ca:

There is no esssssscape when Vipers slithers to DVD September 23.  When there is a break in at a medical research laboratory’s classified seaside location, a mass of genetically enhanced vipers are freed. The sinister snakes reproduce at an alarming rate, eating everything in their path. Outnumbered, a group of locals are trapped in a hotel on an isolated island and have only one chance to stay alive: make it to the shore — and fast.

I can’t believe they pulled a snake pun!  It really just kinda speaks for itself, doesn’t it?  Can anything I have to say about it be funnier than the garbage they just served up?

Tara Reid—Hollywood Speed Bump

So for some reason, there’s a petition circulating around that says Tara Reid will make an excellent addition to the cast of the upcoming Nightmare On Elm Street remake.  Under normal circumstances, I’d be agreeing with the folks who launched the counter-petition to keep her OUT of things, but after hearing one particular Reid supporter’s argument I find myself unable to keep from agreeing.

We need Tara Reid in this movie.

We also need DJ Qualls to play her boyfriend.  We need Uwe Boll himself to direct!  We need this movie to be completely fucking terrible.  Why?

Because Robert Englund’s not in it.

They’re trying to do a Freddy movie without Freddy, and this is nothing short of a travesty.  And all us horror fans know that a Freddy movie without the man who made Freddy a cultural phenomenon is like spaghetti and meatballs made without tomatoes.  Thus, we can look at this and say, hell, we’ve got nothing to lose anyway.  We might as well just make it an absolute HASH.

And you just can’t say “absolute hash” without “Tara Reid.”