The following is a spectacularly stupid idea.
You know…when you’ve got Daveigh Chase reprising her role in a sequel to a movie that probably never should have been released, there’s not much worse you can do to it. Well, somehow, the folks behind S. Darko managed to figure out how to tear the bottom off the barrel and start digging, because they’re adding some talent.
I use the term talent loosely, of course, because their projected additions are Briana Evigan and…brace yourselves…
Oh yeah. I can practically hear your groans of dismay from here. Evigan’s spectacular resume includes exactly seven roles, one of which is S. Darko and another that hasn’t even happened yet. And of course, Elizabeth Berkley is a spectacular career wreckage whose high point, somehow, managed to be Saved By the Bell. Not that any of those slack-jawed halfwits from that show managed to walk away intact–only Mark-Paul Gosselaar can even pretend to have a career right now because Mario Lopez went on to cameo anywhere he could, Dustin Diamond briefly fought celebrities and taught us all the glory of the Filthy Sanchez, Tiffani-Amber Thissen landed with a spectacular thud in various TV roles and Lark Voorhees was lost for almost six years until she was found, still breathing, in a film in post-production called “The Next Hit”, which I doubt will be a hit of any sort.
So it’s looking like, somehow, S. Darko will somehow defy all logic and manage to suck even harder than its predecessor, which really shouldn’t be all that surprising until you consider just how lousy Donnie Darko was in the first place.