She may be a terror hottie, folks, but one thing is clear–Megan Fox has a vastly better body than she does a brain in that empty little head of hers, because she’s convinced that the reason Jennifer’s Body tanked is because you’re too damn stupid to get it.
Check out this colossal idiot’s newest screed:
“The movie is about a man-eating, cannibalistic lesbian cheerleader, and that pretty much eliminates middle America. It’s obviously a girl-power movie, but it’s also about how scary girls are. Girls can be a nightmare.”
Wait…so…Middle America didn’t want to see cannibal lesbian cheerleaders? Um…that’s pretty much ALL Middle America wants in its movies. Look, we love our scary movies out here in flyover country, but the problem here wasn’t that we didn’t get it, Megan, the problem was…
JENNIFER’S BODY SUCKED SOUR FROG ASS ON A SCALE SO EPIC IT SHOULD HAVE COLLAPSED THE EARTH.
That’s why your movie tanked. Because Diablo Cody can’t write in fucking ENGLISH if her hair were on fire and the only way to get a bucket of water was to file a written request. Because Karyn Kusama apparently thinks that EVERY FUCKING MOVIE IS JUNO and she acted accordingly. Because YOU PERSONALLY, Megan, are a second rate actress who’s only doing movies because, somehow, you got in Transformers. And from what I hear about a videotaped car wash audition you did for Michael Bay I got a couple pretty good explanations for THAT one!
There you go. It’s not Iowa’s fault you tanked, Megan. It’s Diablo’s. And Karyn’s.