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Posts filed under 'Krista Allen'

The Final Destination Stills Emerge


(Krista Allen)

Well, folks, Krista Allen’s getting another shot at terror hottie-dom thanks to upcoming sequel / reboot The Final Destination, and despite the fact that I’m frankly very concerned about how this sucker’s going to turn out, I’m getting some reasons for hope.  Oh, come on–you can’t blame me for being concerned that the fourth movie in the series might, you know, kinda suck.

The plot is fairly standard for a Final Destination–bunch of kids just barely avoids death, blah blah blah, Death gets torqued that his “design” is subverted, yadda yadda, kids die in various horrible ways as Death stretches his Rube Goldberg muscles.

Granted, I love the whole Rube Goldberg mechanic, as Death tries to kill kids by turning on a water faucet that knocks over a bottle of shampoo and the combination makes the floor so slick that the target ends up slipping and falling, breaking open the medicine cabinet door and slitting his throat.  And it actually gets more elaborate than that.  But I’m a little concerned that the fourth may be somewhat lessened on the quality front.  Won’t have to wait long to find out, though–this one hits theatres August 28th.

Final Destination 4: Three More Than There Should Have Been

 

This is really just a terrible idea here, and I wouldn’t be talking about it at all if it weren’t for a couple of very interesting points, which I’ll get to directly.  What I’m talking about today is “Final Destination 4″, an idea so massive in its sheer horribleness that it will bruise fruit and frighten children just by its mere existence.  Frankly, the third movie was a bad idea in that it was almost exactly like the previous two, so bringing in a fourth is really just a bad idea.

There are, however, up shots to this whole thing, including a slew of terror hotties like the bona fide scream queen Krista Allen.  This is always a welcome addition to even the lousiest of projects, but here’s one you may not be thinking of.  Yes, the script will be cheesier than Wisconsin, but remember that freeway wreck from the second one?  Yeah, that huge one that was like a Rube Goldberg machine of destruction?  Apparently, Final Destination 4 will have a wreck scene that will be ten times bigger.  called “The NASCAR disaster of a lifetime”, I can’t help but be a little interested.

I’m well aware of the hypocricy of it, but as longtime readers well know I am an absolute sucker for spectacle.  Doing something big or wild or just balls-out out-of-control is a draw for me.  Yes, the script is no doubt cheesy and unoriginal but any time you can do something bigger than ever, that makes it unique.

Krista Allen Tweaks a Surprisingly Ineffectual Death

You know…I’m only slightly surprised by the resurgence of the Final Destination franchise.

Now, that last line should’ve made your jaw drop.  Yes, it is a franchise–because there’s a fourth one now.  Rather, it’s in the works.  Can you believe it?  Seriously?  There’s going to be a Final Destination 4.

And that’s not the end of the news–it’ll have at least three terror hotties in it: Haley Webb and Shantel VanSanten–who by themselves are hardly HUGE news, but check out number three in the batch.  None other than Krista Allen.  I’m not kidding!  They brought back Krista Allen from this!  You know, the chick who played Tuffy in Feast and the upcoming Feast 2: Sloppy Seconds (more on that one another time, kids!)

The plot, not surprisingly, is almost identical to that of every OTHER Final Destination film in the franchise–a teenager has a deadly premonition of a race-car crash and saves his friends’ lives, thus botching the ever-present Death’s Design.  Thus, from there, Death has no choice but to take back the lives supposed to be lost in a horrendously convoluted fashion.

You know, this Death is actually, somehow, LESS effectual than that Norm MacDonald Death on Family Guy.  All THAT Death had to do was walk up and touch you and you were dead.  The Final Destination death has to play a game of Mouse Trap before he can kill anyone.  Is Rube Goldberg under that hood or what?

But anyway–Krista Allen, good news, Final Destination 4, horrible news.